The End of the Bad Moms- Building Your Good Mom Pathways

Here at MomSense there are a few things we just won't stand for and the term “bad mom” is one of them.

The Bad Moms movie franchise is excellent and we love those BUT it’s also tricky because that movie series also perpetuates this idea of what a Good and Bad mom is. But hey, every Christmas I am guilty of watching my friends Cheryl Hines, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn and Mila Kunis go nuts on the Christmas tree. 

Today’s exercise is how to embody the idea of being a good mom. I want to start by asking how many of you have had a thought that goes like this “I am such a bad mom…my kids ate McDonald’s again today” or “I didn't do great goody bags for my son’s birthday” or “Crap…I forgot pajama day” Sounds familiar, right?

That is the LAST talk we will have about bad moms. Again for the folks in the back- today is the LAST time we talk to ourselves about being bad moms. Yes, there are bad moms out there but you are not one of them. Bad moms do not take a parenting class and read blogs about the label of being a bad mom. Bad moms don't give a thought about being a bad mom. 

But it’s not just that you are calling yourself unjustified names, you’re actually reinforcing the doubt you have internally about whether or not you are a bad mom. 

When you call yourself a bad mom, you are creating and strengthening nervous system pathways that reinforce that connection between the action (I forgot pajama day) and the resulting label (so I’m a bad mom).  Today we are going to flip the bad moms script on its head. 

It all starts with recognition. When you have those bad mom thoughts come up, I want you to pivot that statement and do a good mom flip. This is what it looks like “I am such a bad mom because I forgot it was pajama day”  Reframe- “I am a good mom because my child was fed, clothed and we got 5 minutes of a snuggle this morning” We want those bad mom thoughts to always be followed by good mom conclusions.  An then eventually we want bad mom thoughts to go away. 

Let’s sit for a minute now in Good Mom space. 

We are going to start with the mantra I am a good mom. 

I want you to breathe in and at the top of the breath say to yourself, I am a good mom. 

It might feel weird, but I want you to do that again. I am a good mom. 

We are going to do this 10 times. I want you to envision creating a new nervous system pathway for your Good Mom thoughts. I want you to hear and feel that phrase change the way you say it. Play with the word good. I am a GOOD mom, I am a goood mom, I am a GOOD MOM, I am a good MOM. 

If you are constantly thinking you are a bad mom, you are going to practice this! I want you to start with this each day in the shower, while you are brushing your teeth, or while you are making your coffee or tea:

10 deep breaths, 10 repetitions: I am a good mom.

Let that sink in. You should start to feel that in your gut. Your challenge is to do this every day for the next week. 

Leave us a note in the comments on why you are a Good Mom! Don’t be shy, we want to hear it. We’re good moms- let’s reinforce that Good Mom Pathway.