Look What You Made Me Do…Momshaming version

In the realm of motherhood, scrutiny and judgment seem to loom large, casting shadows over even the most mundane moments of a mother’s day. In recent weeks there has been a surge of articles and social media posts from mom-advocates (momvocates? ooooh MADvocates?) urging us to reconsider our knee-jerk responses when we see a mom engrossed in her phone at the playground or juggling multiple tasks in public. Why is it that motherhood so often subjected to unwarranted commentary and unsolicited opinions? What about us says “Oh please! I’d love to know what you think about what I’m doing right now.”

Recently, actress Sophie Turner's candid interview shed light on the harsh and unfounded criticism she faced following her separation announcement, labeled as a "negligent mother" by internet trolls when she was traveling for work. This incident underscores a larger societal issue—a tendency to hastily judge and condemn mothers without understanding their circumstances.

Let's take a moment to challenge ourselves. Consider any fleeting thoughts that arise when you see mothers in various settings—handling a crying toddler the coffee shop, on her phone at the school pick-up line, or staying in her car at sports event. Are we guilty of harboring judgements about what a mother should be doing? It's a crucial exercise in self-awareness, recognizing our implicit biases and maybe question why we do this.

Challenge one: notice.

Recognizing the problem is the first step towards addressing it. So, for the next 24-48 hours, let's commit to observing our own thoughts.

Notice the subtle cues and societal pressures placed on mothers. This exercise isn't about shaming ourselves but fostering empathy and understanding.

Motherhood, as portrayed in media and popular culture, often comes with a script—an idealized image of the selfless, ever-attentive supermom. Yet, this idealization overlooks the multifaceted realities of modern motherhood. Mothers are individuals with diverse experiences, aspirations, and challenges. Our perceptions of motherhood should evolve to embrace this diversity.

Think back to those scenarios we mentioned above- the mom at the playground engrossed in her phone might not be neglectful but rather managing a demanding workload while ensuring her child gets fresh air and playtime. The mother in the school pick-up line might be coordinating essential appointments for her family or simply seizing a brief moment of respite amidst a hectic day.

As we embark on this journey of awareness, let's consider how we can translate what we notice into meaningful action. Speaking up against judgmental attitudes and advocating for inclusivity and empathy can create a more supportive environment for mothers everywhere.

Challenge two: let our actions speak louder than words.

Let's challenge ourselves and others to celebrate mothers not just on Mother's Day but every day. Let's extend empathy, offer support, and refrain from hasty judgment. Let that mom with the tantruming toddler go ahead of you in the coffee line. Shut down the other parent who calls someone a “hot mess” and hype up or even help the ones doing it all. Ask the men on your business trip “so who watches your kids when you travel?”

Step by step, we can challenge preconceptions, promote empathy, and redefine what it means to be a mother in today's complex world.

Are you ready to join the movement?